Alito

Though the democrats couldn't muster up enough courage among its members to really oppose this ideological right-winger, at least as Bill in Portland, Maine on the Kos declares, we still should celebrate those on the High Court who will defend our rights.

An excerpt...

SUPREME COURT JUSTICE JOHN... PAUL... STEVENS!!!!

[Wild...I mean frickin' WILD applause. A million Bic lighters suddenly come to life as the most massive fireworks display you've ever seen explodes overhead! Molly Ivins, E.J. Dionne and Paul Krugman throw candy to the crowd.]



SUPREME COURT JUSTICE DAVID... SOUTER!!!!

[Women wriggle their panties off and throw them on-stage. WILD applause as the Blue Angels roar overhead and a thousand children holding flashlights form a human `scales of justice.']



SUPREME COURT JUSTICE RUTH... BADER... GINSBURG!!!!

[Okay, this is getting insane. A team of Chippendales dancers hoists Ginsburg on a solid gold throne as a million voices sing in unison: We will, we will ROCK YOU!! Kenny G descends from the rafters to play a solo, but is carried off by security, thank god.]



SUPREME COURT JUSTICE STEPHEN... BREYER!!!!

[Shit! No...way! The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Coldplay, Green Day, Busta Rhymes, the Dixie Chicks and Kanye West team up for an insane performance of Street Fighting Man while a MASSIVE American flag unfurls. The roar of the crowd is heard in 6 states.]



SUPREME COURT JUSTICE ANTHONY... KENNEDY!!!!

Clap...C'clap. Clap. C'clap. Clap.

[Good lord. Sparklers. Speedo. Oh no...we told him three times: no clogging!]